A Strenuous Objection To Disney Changing The Portrayal Of Tinkerbell

Seriously now.

Three years ago, Disney announced that Tinkerbell would be played by Yara Shahidi, an African American actor best known for playing Zoey Johnson on Black-Ish and Grown-Ish. But people only seemed to notice this week when the trailer dropped. And there is considerable and understandable outrage.

Because this is such a complete rejection of the original accepted casting and portrayal of Tinkerbell from Peter Pan that someone has to make a stand against this woke nonsense invading popular culture at this time.

As everyone knows, Tinkerbell was initially portrayed in the original theatrical production of Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up, which premiered in 1904 at the Duke of York's Theatre in London, by light being reflected by a mirror onto the stage, flitting about from place to place, accompanied by the sound of tinkling bells. Rather than speak, actors would state that they could hear Tinkerbell and then repeat what she said with a "what's that, Tinkerbell? You say..." etc. etc.

At no point in the original play or book was Tinkerbell even stated or shown to have a human form. That was only invented by the politically correct woke brigade of the Disney of the nineteen-fifties. We demand that Disney return to the original casting intention for Tinkerbell by having her be represented on screen as reflected light and collar bells.

This follows a litany of "woke" characters being forced on viewers by Disney+ after they removed the ability for people to turn the TV off or switch channels. They include She-Hulk and Carol Danvers, invented by Marvel in the politically correct nineteen-seventies. As we know, only Marvel comic book characters invented in the nineteen-forties and nineteen-sixties should be allowed on the screen. Oh, and Wolverine as well, I suppose. Oh, and Rocket Raccoon. And Deadpool was from the eighties. Look, you know what I mean. White men. I mean, white light, I mean, light reflected on the stage by a mirror, to play everyone in everything. And don't forget the bells.

Mermaids are fine, though. I mean, who the hell knows what mermaids are, anyway?